Kristina Hansen. John Hembling. Dean Esmay. In the past couple of years A Voice for Men — the premier “men’s rights” website — has seen the very public departure of several high-profile employees under circumstances that are usually far from amicable.
Today, Paul Elam revealed that attorney and “Canadian Activism Director” Attila Vinczer had quit both AVfM and the “men’s rights” movement as a whole. Yes, this is the same Attila Vinczer who attempted to “dox” blogger Dave Futrelle — whom Vinczer labelled a “pathological liar” and a “criminal”, in addition to a litany of other insults. The same Attila Vinczer who was prone to going on scatological rants against feminists on Twitter.
In a farewell letter to his former comrades, Vinczer wrote that he originally “decided to join AVFM as what I believed to be the most suitable organization and vehicle for my advocacy endeavours” but had grown sick of Elam’s abuse. According to Vinczer:
I am no longer willing to remain silent, particularly with the incredulously wanton threats made against me, by those who at a time, I thought were my friends and allies.
I have been accused of being a cheat, a liar, a thief, a con artist, dishonest in addition to being called a scum bag and coerced into doing things I was unable to do. Moreover, I have been threatened by a number of people to be publicly shamed, humiliated and thus excommunicated from the MRM for ever. This added stress has had a profoundly negative effect on my health, which deeply cruel, after I made it clear, that I was not well back in April.
In my risk estimation joining AVFM, I failed to assess the fact that those who could cover my back, could just as easily stab me in the back. I have seen this done to others and it was only a matter of time it would be done to me or to any other member of AVFM when the organization places you in their crosshair.
If the type of treatment Vinczer is describing sounds familiar, that’s because Paul Elam and his organization does this to anyone considered an enemy. Feminists, women in general, journalists who say negative things about the group — all become targets of insults, doxxing attempts, threats, and so on.
Critics are routinely lambasted as “manginas”, “white knights”, “scumbags”, and “bigots.” In fact, if I had a dime for every time Paul Elam flew off the handle and told someone to “fuck off” or “go to hell” I’d be debt free by now.
Vinczer continues to air out AVfM’s dirty laundry, describing the difficulty he encountered while attempting to host the second annual TorontoDV Symposium (one speaker, Dr. Tanveer Ahmed, requested a flight on a different airline which more than doubled the original flight cost), his inability to sell his commemorative AVfM silver coins (sales of the coin, he said, “have been at a dismal 23 pieces”), and the severe financial losses he’s experienced for associating with AVfM and MRAs — which he puts at over two million dollars.
And he bitterly described how he paid for Elam’s “first class” flight from Houston to Toronto as well as his hotel room.
In his closing remarks, Vinczer wrote:
Management is wondering why readership at AVFM is down. Its like this. People will slow down and take a look at a crash on the side of the road. The bigger the crash the more they will stop and look. After a while it becomes boring. This is the chasm AVFM is in. It will either fall back to where it began. cross it and move to a higher elevation or fall into the chasm and self destruct. Again, I will strongly urge management to develop a solid business plan with short, mid and long term goals. This will enable it to seek funding either publicly or privately as a business. How many people/volunteers will AVFM grind up, before it realizes, it must pay their staff?
Paul told me he would fly my father and I to the next ICMI event to ensure we were comfortable. Instead I got insulted with, if you volunteer in October, you will get a free pass with a value of $600.00, but your dad and kids will need to pay to get in. Moments after that I was ready to submit my resignation. Suzy [McCarley] talked me out of it.
. . .
It has come to my attention that AVFM CEO and Dr. Tanveer Ahmed are possibly conspiring to destroy my reputation publicly. Is this what AVFM is about? Does this stand for due process it profoundly says it protects? I attempted to deal with this at the highest level privately, but was instead silenced by it.
I will never return to the MRM or the cult that has without thought or consideration thrown me under the wheels of the bus. Will deal with my obligations and never look back on this treacherous dark moment and happily return to my business and executive life to enjoy my time with my family and children.
Yes, Attila Vinczer described a “cult” that threw him “under the wheels of the bus.” A “cult” headed by Paul Elam, who countered Vinczer’s resignation letter by writing of “dozens of broken promises, unpaid bills, manipulating people into covering your expenses knowing full well that if you did not make the money back that you could not reimburse.”
He labelled Vinczer’s “disregard” for the “well-being” of his former coworkers as “atrocious.” He attacked Vinczer as “a liar, a con artist and a dishonest scoundrel that has ripped off people over three countries and two continents.”
In other words, Elam handled the situation the way one might have expected. I’m sure the reverberations of this latest falling out between Elam and one of his allies will continue for the foreseeable future.
In the meantime, let’s have Taylor Swift sum this up: