A Voice for Men founder Paul Elam has an urgent message for us: innocent men and boys are under assault by ravenous “Gynocentric Zombies”! Yes, in an allegedly humorous article by Elam and fellow AVfMer Tom Golden — yes, it took not one but two adult men to write this — they liken feminism to a full-blown zombie apocalypse, and demonstrate that they have probably never taken a creative writing class:

The world, the real one filled with real people, is already filled with real zombies. Gynocentric Zombies, or, if you prefer, Gynozoms. They are automatons who feed on the flesh of men and boys in order to satisfy the needs, real or imagined, of women and girls.  It’s pretty simple really.  Just imagine decaying, tooth snapping extras in The Walking Dead and adjust it – slightly — with the zombies of both sexes only attacking men and boys, as they do the zombie shuffle right past women and girls in perfectly good culinary condition.  That about sums up our present state.

. . .

So, are you a Gynozom? It is easy to find out. Just a few questions will suffice.

Do you think that it’s okay for boys to be circumcised/mutilated as infants without any anesthesia while any cutting of infant female genitalia is forbidden by law? If so, you’re a Gynozom.

Do you do a twitchy shrug and shuffle on when you hear that men are 80% of the victims of suicide?  93% of workplace deaths?  Then we need to call Michonne to pay you visit with her trusty katana.

Do you think that women are inherently good and superior to men, while men are inherently bad and inferior to women? Then your rank smell should be filling the empty space where your nose used to be before it rotted off.

Do you think that female victims of domestic violence deserve help while male victims don’t exist?  Gy-no-zom!

Are facts immediately lost on you because your brain is now as functional as a head of cauliflower that has been laying in the hallway of a gender studies department for two weeks? Move toward the light! For the love of everything holy move toward the light!!

First of all, since when does Paul Elam care about male suicide or workplace deaths? Not only has the man done fuck-all to help prevent these tragedies, he’s written that feminist blogger Dave Futrelle should kill himself. Yes, Paul Elam is very much concerned about male suicide rates and the like. Much more concerned about that than harassing random women. Yup. It also looks as though Elam is attempting to fight off these zombie hordes with an army of strawmen. Who, for example, says that women are “inherently good” and men “inherently bad”? Who is saying that male victims of domestic violence “don’t exist”? Any names? No?

This is the real Zombie apocalypse. And is happening right now directly in front of societies, dull, greying eyes.

It’s time we start calling people the zombies out.  Our politicians are all Gynozoms.  They only make laws to help women and forget the men and boys. And they make laws to attack men and boys. Remember, Gynozoms are everywhere and not only the acidic and lethal types. No, the Gynozom Invasion come in all sizes and flavors. The worst are probably the politicians but our academicians are staggering and limping just a few steps behind.

Then there is the media.  Oh yes, the media.  Nearly all are media (who were already zombies to begin with) are willing to attack and consume men and boys whenever they need a bit to eat. Bonus! They get fed and they also get to pat each other on their decomposing backs for “working hard” to protect women and girls.  Yes, the media is overrun with Gynozoms.  Swarming with them.

The most frightening aspect to Gynozoms is that you can’t identify them by the way they look.  They look just like everyone else.  In the Zombie movies it is easy to tell them from those who are fully alive.  You can’t miss it. But in real life you can’t tell a Gynozom from a Gandhi just by looking.  At any moment a Gynocentric Zombie who looks just like everyone else may come and take a bite out of you.  If you are a man or a boy, no one will care. The other Gynozoms certainly won’t.

Politicians and academia and the media are all colluding against men and boys? Gosh, if only we lived in a world where men were equally represented in academia, business, and Congress. Maybe then the men and boys who are so persecuted and maligned in America will have a chance. Perhaps someday.